I had gotten off work earlier that day, it was about 7 PM, so I decided not to go home, but take a walk in the park. It was a sad day for me. Even though I did never seem to become emotional, this day had always brung back nice, but then painful memories...

Ryan was having day off and he didn't want to stay home. He decided to spend a day at park.
He was lying on the bench when suddenly realized it was already evening.
" Argh. Great Wolfe. Now everyone thinks you're homeless" he groaned trying to get up but found his muscles too stiff to move " Ow! That hurts." he whined trying to stretch out

After a long walking, I sat down on a bench and buried my face in my hands. I was not crying though. I was never crying. I didn't want people to see my emotions. Sometimes, I thought something was wrong with my body and I couldn't cry. I sighed. I should have gone home, but I couldn't. I couldn't see her empty room and act like nothing happened.

Ryan still was struggling to get up straight from the bench when noticed someone walking by and taking place on other bench.
He took another glance and realised he knew the person...
" Ava? "

I raised my eyes to look at the person who had called me. It is then that I noticed it was Ryan. Me and Ryan had grown as friends lately. I didn't really know many people in Miami, so he was like a best friend to me. "Hey," I said quietly.

Ryan gritted his teeth and kept struggling to sit.
Damn Wolfe, why you idiot slept on that damn bench all day? he sighed. " Hey"

It took lot effort to hid pain in his back and chest, and terrible stiffness in his neck, but he somehow managed to put himself into somewhat decent sitting position.
" So, why are you here in this calm evening looking so sad? " he gently asked his new friend.

I looked up at him and sighed. I rubbed my temples with a slight frown. "I..." I started. "I look sad?" I asked, trying to look surprised, but it didn't really work.

" Hey, come on, you trying to fool department's best pair of eyes? " he said trying to lighten the mood.
" Well frankly you look sad. Like someone who gets sad memories. " he said looking at Ava
" I know. I look same half of my life"

I smiled a bit when I heard him. "Second best. The best is right here," I said, motioning to myself. I got up from the bench I was sitting on and went up to his. I sat down near him, looking down. "You already know me to well," I told him.

Ryan grinned at her. " Oh yeah almost forgot the nail put me on second place " he joked.

" See, no prob. I'm very encyclopediac type. You can call me Mr. Google just like the paper on my locker door says. But I have strong suspicion of who glued it to my locker with super glue. " mumbled trying to lit up her mood.

I smiled when I heard him. Of course, he was talking about his sister. Interesting stuff, the one I was sad about now, had been like a sister to me. I let my head rest on his shoulder. "It hurts," I said simply. I didn't expect him to understand, but I said it anyway.

Ryan sighed. His little annoying sis he dared to loose but eventually found again.
But there was still another person he couldn't find anymore.
And it hurt. Even after years of reading about it on newspaper. And today he remembered the happy days.
" Yeah. It truly hurts..." he agreed " Even after years it keeps sneaking up to you..."

"Yeah..." I sighed, my head still resting on his shoulder. "I don't have a sister. I had someone, who was like a sister. But she's gone. She is gone..."

Ryan put a hand around her shoulders and gently squeezed. He sighed slightly this time trying not to cough.
" I had someone I loved so much I wanted marry her. But then I ruined it all. And did something really bad. I still miss her badly. " he confessed

It felt good, having a friend in those moments. But I felt like he didn't understand what I was saying. I straightened myself to look at him. "No. Not like that. She's dead, Ryan. Dead," I simply said.

But Ryan kept talking " She was my first love of my life and I let her... " he sighed too deep and ended up nearly coughing up a lung.
" That's sad. Very very sad. And it damn still hurts. " he said with a dark tone in his voice. " That girl. My first love. She's gone too. Died because of me..."

I looked at him with sad eyes. "She..." I started, but I didn't know exactly what to say. We were in the same situation. "I'm sorry."

Ryan just nodded " It was rainy day... It's ok. I'm over that." he told truly hoping he's over the loss.

I nodded as well. "Yeah..." I said. "Me too."

Ryan sighed taking out his meds and looked at the sky.
" You know I sometimes wonder if that's true, that they don't leave us. That they actually turn into stars and watch us from above..."

I had never believed in such things. I shook my head. "They don't," I said. "They're all gone."

" Yeah. I know, I know. But still. I used to watch stars when I was kid. A friend of mine. That girl, she used to tell me things like that. So I started to think about that. I think she's definately a star now. She'd deserved that. Sometimes it's so good to believe something that actually can't exist." he smiled at his memories

I looked down. "No, it's not," I said and got up. "We have to put them in a little box and throw them away and go on with our life. I'm never sad over dead people. Everybody dies."

" Hey. That was harsh. This reminds me of one of my old friends. She has pretty same image." Ryan told.
" Are you leaving already?" Ryan asked seeing Ava standing.

I looked at him. "I am harsh. I'm not nice and kind and dreamy. I'm practical," I said with a sad shrug. "No, I'm not leaving."